MINDFULNESS. The word makes me want to gag, but it works.

Red

I'm seeing red

-Minor Threat

I always hear people saying Be mindful! Be present! Live in the moment! Oh yeah? I was living in the moment during my bar fighting phase. That didn’t work.

I was living in the moment during my bar fighting phase.

I think about mindfulness like the movie 300. There’s a scene where Xerxes is standing on top of a cliff watching the battlefield below. When we’re on the battlefield, we can’t see very far. We’re dealing with the things right in front of us. I can assure you I wasn’t thinking about anything else when a man blew my own cigarette smoke back in my face.

Then we’ve got the cliff that overlooks the battlefield. When we are up there, we can see everything that is going on below. We notice things. We notice patterns.

The key is to find the balance. If we are only on the battlefield, we’re too impulsive. If we’re only on the cliff, we’re too distant. We can’t see the patterns unfolding when we’re on the battlefield, and we’ll never get into a flow state on the cliff.

I’d argue that being present isn’t our problem in western society. We’re too in the moment. Everything is so quick and convenient, we can get whatever we want when we want it. I think most of us would be better off if we spent more time up on the cliff.

After spending some time on the cliff and reflecting on about a dozen existential crises, I noticed some thought patterns. When I get overwhelmed…

I think about the meaning of life and whatareweevendoinghereanywayandI shouldsellallmystuffandmoveintoashackinthemountainsinthemiddleofnowherawayfromeveryoneormaybeanislandthatcouldbedopetoo.
I get a very reasonable request in an email from a coworker asking me to do my job, and I want to strangle them.
I think that my wife does absolutely nothing around the house, and I do everything. This is objectively false.

Now that I’ve identified the pattern. When I find myself wanting to move off the grid, strangle a coworker or rebuke my wife, I go “oh yeah - I’ve seen this before.” Cool. Let it pass. Get a good night’s sleep. Hit the journal and unpack where we’re out of balance in life. Fix that imbalance, and all of a sudden those thoughts fade away.